And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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