There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
