Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
