Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
