no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
