My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
