i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
