let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
