??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
