Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
