so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
