we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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