He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
