And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
