Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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