I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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