I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
