...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
