I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
