the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
