If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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