i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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