the new term for farting is butt boxing.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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