But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
