I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
