we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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