The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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