I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
