Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
