He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize