I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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