Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
