..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
