Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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