Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
