How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize