Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
