so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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