Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
