I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize