I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
