Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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