my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize