Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
