wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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