She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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