dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
