I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There r osticjed everywhere
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
