Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
