Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
