True but thats because hes a fetus.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
