They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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