u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
