She is in my trunk
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
