hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
