So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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